Friday, November 15, 2013

Basic Body Shapes or Learn to stop fixating and just love your Bomb-Ass body!

There is nothing I hate more than a pushy sales person trying to foist something completely unflattering on you. Sadly I have run into this more times than I would like to count. A great many people seem to like to try and just put you in the things they like and that look good on them, regardless of cut and color. I'm open to new fashion choices, but really - don't try and put me in an orange red, it just makes me look sick and pisses me off.

There are four basic body types. The foundation of your curves, you might say.
  • You've got Pear or A, where your hips are wider than your shoulders. 
  • You've got Apple or Y, where your shoulders are wider than your hips. This one is me - no hips, no ass, great legs, big bust, wide shoulders, and all my weight sits around my midsection and mocks me when I look at pretty dresses with nipped waists. It's all that junk food that likes pry it's way into my mouth, sugar terrorism! Yes, that's what it is ... 
  • You've als ogot Hourglass, where your hips and shoulders are both wide and your waist nips in ala Marilyn Monroe or my boss, the woman who I often imagine they must have been talking about when they made that song Brick House, because she has curves in every place any woman I have ever met wishes she had them. Plus she's tall. If I look half as good as she does when I'm her age, I will consider all beauty regimens well worth the effort.
  • Then you've got Banana or rectangle where you have narrow hips and shoulders and your waist may or may not nip in. I prefer to call this shape "Athletic" because a lot of athletes are built this way. The less athletic banana shapes are what I sometimes like to call pre-pubescent toothpicks, but that's mostly my just being a catty brat.
 These four body types basically personify what you do and do not want to wear, in most peoples opinions. There are so many variations, though, on top of that. Long torso, short torso, long legs, short legs, petite, tall, round, busty, hump backed, emaciated, blue, green - basically there are a lot of different people out there. Things that look good on me are not necessarily things that will look good on you. That being said - some things can carry over.

I keep seeing inspiration sets floating around the Internet based on various celebrities and fictional characters. I, myself, am a total geek so I like to look up all these different inspiration sets and usually I'm left kind of disappointed. Almost everything I see is either too literal to look good on someone in the real world, or it's made for a stick figure. Or, you know, a Banana shape. It's mean to say stick figures and really I say it because a tiny part of me is jealous - I'm a petty bitch sometimes. So back a few months ago I started making a few inspiration sets of my own, specifically for a general Y shape or Pear shape. I try to do 2 sets for every character, sometimes I get lazy though.

That being said I will start to post some of those, and start making more for people out there. We can start inserting some sneaky-geeky attire into the office without having your boss look at you askance. If someone reading this has questions or a request for a certain character feel free to comment and let me know. I'm pretty excited about this endeavor and I hope that people can learn a bit about what might be right for them. Talk to you later, Stevie

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