Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Nothing is true, everything is permitted.

Ever want to walk into a meeting feeling like the most dangerous and interesting person in the room? Sometimes you need that air of mystery, that hint of danger, to give you an edge if you are nervous about a presentation. And really, what is more bad ass than an assassin? I mean, besides a ninja-pirate-assassin or Grumpy Cat.

Asassins Creed 3 for the Pear Shape

I would like to say for the record that I wish I had hips. Two years of squats have given me an ass, at least, so I worked my ass on. Sadly, without the hips I still can't rock a pencil skirt and, oh, how I love them. I look dumpy and sad when I make the attempt so I've mostly given up. Mostly ...(Never give up, never surrender!)

A good work blazer should stop just above the swell of your hips to help the eye focus on a narrower waist and to keep it from wrinkling weird because you half sat on it at your desk. The skirt should come to just under or just over the knee (shorter legs should stick to a hemline just above the knee.) The way the skirt hugs the hips and then tucks in and flares helps make you look curvy and still hides thicker thighs. This is a high waisted skirt I chose, so tuck your shirt in and then, to hide odd bulges and make your waist more defined, put a belt over it.

Boots should never come over the knees for a work outfit. Not only does it shorten your leg, but it can often look trashy without meaning to. However when your boots come to below the knee with a skirt that comes to just above, your legs look longer. As a good general rule, if your jacket doesn't have a collar neither should your shirt. That being said, you can still have top interest.

Accessories are important. Nothing too ostentatious, the clothing, like the person inside them, is the star for this outfit. A couple rings, no necklace because we have such a great rufflling effect going on, and maybe a watch. Assassins are pretty exact about times and dates, they have to be. A smokey eye (not too dramatic though, ladies, this is a day look) and nude lips and you are good to go. Wear your hair in your favorite style and grab your favorite black purse to complete this look.

Assassins Creed 3 for the "Y" Shape

I love a good jacket, but a lot of them seem to highlight my extreme lack of hips and contort in rather unflattering manners across my chest. You can play one part off with a flared skirt and the other by trying on every jacket you like (and maybe getting it tailored a bit). With a strong skirt remember not to go overboard with an in-your-face top though. Go with a simple boat neck to show off the wide shoulders and exaggerate the difference between your shoulders and your waist. With that flared skirt to make it look like you've got hips you've just become a femmefatale with an hourglass figure.

Since I went with a pretty monochromatic color scheme I had fun with patterns. The top has spots, the belt has braids, and the tights are made of lace! Don't be afraid to mix and match textures and prints, often it makes an outfit interesting. Grab some heels to help give the skirt some sway and some extra length to your legs, add your favorite black purse and you've got yourself an outfit! Remember, keep your accessories and makeup simple, and do your hair however you like.

This particular jacket is something I would LOVE to be able to pull off, sadly I'm uber-busty so it's not going to jive. I do have an awesome leather jacket with faux-frogging down the front like this though, it's got the princess seams to keep it nice and flattering on me. Remember, just because we have the same base shapes doesn't mean we can all look good in the same things. We need to accept these things (even if we really love those pencil skirts...) and move on. Clothes aren't made for everyone, sadly. We need to embrace the things that look good on us and not wish we looked good in something else. We, ladies, are what makes the clothes, not the other way around.

Getting stuck on the things you want to wear can stop you from finding things that you can wear. Keep an open mind and remember to try things on at the store. Chances are if you have any kind of a figure at all you won't look good in something that looks amazing on a hanger. Hangers show off clothing meant for stick figures, the slender athletics, the athletic hourglass, the incredibly petite, and children. If you aren't one of those things, don't let it get you down. If you try it on and it doesn't look as good as you'd hoped move on to a new style that you've never tried before, you might be pleasantly surprised! You also might be completely horrified and not sure if you should gag or giggle, but that's why you go shopping with girlfriends. You show them and they make the decision on just how terribad that article of clothing really is.

Remember, you're beauty is unique.