Friday, February 13, 2015

I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

So those that know me know I am an avid cosplayer. Like anyone, sometimes I get up in my head and surround myself with negative "what if"s now and then. Recently it was over the Wasp costume I'm working on. I am, by no means, petite. I'm 5'6, a bit overweight, and have a lot of muscle. It took me a day or so to get over that, but I'm good now.

If you want to dress up like your favorite character, do it. It doesn't matter what race, size, or sex you are; what matters is that you are having fun. That's the first rule of cosplay. Enjoy yourselves! And if you ever get up in your head the way I do in mine, let me know. I will happily remind you that you can do and be anything you want.

With that in mind, here is your Valentine's Day issue of Sneaky Geeky Fashions - with one of my personal heroes, Jessica Rabbit.

Jessica Rabbit for the Slender Athletic

Jessica is tall, curvy, and drawn for sin. Sadly, most of us in the real world are not drawn that way. Though I admit, when I first saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit I had to have been about seven, I wanted to be Jessica Rabbit. Mostly it was because of the bear trap hidden in her cleavage. Still my favorite moment in that movie. Thankfully, my love of Jessica Rabbit is shared with my Amazon Queen, and she requested that I do an outfit for the non hourglass shaped ladies out there.

I love skater dresses. I love how they are shaped and that they have movement which makes them fun to look at. It is also a dress style that looks good on most people, though remember that it is all in the details. This one, with the wide shoulder pieces that come to a point and the light gathering around the neck widens the shoulders. The bad at the waist keeps the dress snug to your figure, and let's the skirt add the volume to your hips. Voila, insta-hourglass!

But it's really not fun if you do the dress and nothing else, and let's be honest, I do this because it's fun.

A sleeveless bolero helps make the waist look a little smaller, the shoulders look a little bigger, and because of how it scoops up in the front, it draws the eye to a bust that might not usually be the first thing people notice about you. You can pair this with sheer nylons so the skirt doesn't stick and so those adorable ModCloth heels don't get uncomfortable halfway through the day. I have a mad love for Modcloth shoes, in case you haven't noticed from the number of times they appear on my blog.

The number one thing to remember about the Jessica Rabbit look is the peekaboo bang. If you can't pull that off, a side part with your hair pulled back (say with a rose?) will do the trick. Also, you need to remember purple eye shadow and match the red of your dress to a red lipstick if you can. Anyone can do a red lip, you just have to find the right shade. To keep the luster on the lips, put chap stick on, then your foundation over that, and then put your lipstick on. It will make it pop so nicely. Jewelry can be anything in violet or red, though I like violets and bunnies, myself. The rabbit purse might be a little too whimsical for some workplaces, but it's great if you are looking for a professional outfit to wear at a convention.

Jessica Rabbit for the Plus Size Hourglass

This is for one of my very best friends, Nano, who would much prefer I did a Xena outfit for her instead. Xena isn't Valentine-y enough, though, so she is stuck with Jessica for now. Mostly because she looks ridiculously amazing in red.

I love a pencil skirt on a woman with hips. This is not a secret, it's more like an obsession, probably because I lack hips of my own. Anyhow, my point is, if you have curves, you need to rock them. I don't care what size you are. Nano rocks her curves like nobodies business, and as such I wanted to make sure I did that here. So here is this dress, cut for a woman with an hourglass figure, thick enough that if you want to wear some smoothing undergarments they won't show through, and in a perfect shade of red.

Sure, the dress is work appropriate (unless you are like me and have tattoos that may need to be covered up) and sexy, but it's a bit naughty librarian on it's own. Pair it with a blazer, purple for Jessica Rabbit, black if you want to use it for Harley Quinn some time in the future. Someone with an hourglass shape can look bigger than they really are if their clothing doesn't fit right. You don't want to get a blazer that is boxy or hangs to low. If you find one you love that fits shoulders, the girls, and hips, go get it tailored so that it will also nip in at your waist and show off your bombshell curves.

The big points on Jessica Rabbit is the hair, a peekaboo bang is a little outdated though, so side part and pull back a bit - Jessica loved red roses so that's what I am working with. Also it gives a nice nod to the forties bombshell look, as well. Cute ModCloth heels (I know, I know, I have a fixation with shoes) help make your legs look longer, though you might want to go with some sheer stockings to keep it classy. Stick to purples for your eye shadow and a berry lip, it's the details that make the outfit, such as black and white heels, black blazer, and a black and color blocked purse to make this dress Harley Quinn appropriate.

The main point about this is that anyone can be Jessica Rabbit, doesn't matter what size or shape you are. Cosplay is for everyone, fandoms are for anyone who loves something, and geekery is universal, whether you realize it or not.

Much love,


Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Gotta Catch 'Em All - Beginners Path

Pokemon has defined more than one generation. I remember my brother going nuts over it. Now, my best friends son does the same thing. They are 12 years apart in age, and it makes me so happy that this franchise has withstood the test of time. The games, the show, the movies, the fandom. It's a huge part in my personal Geek Culture, and it makes me happy that I can share that love with multiple generations.

Bulbasaur for the Busty Hourglass

My gal pal Queen B is built like one of those ridiculously expensive blowup dolls, I know because I was a best (wo)man and felt it was my duty to get an inflatable doll for the bachelor party. Anyway, she can rock what she's got with the best of them, and has an incredible sense of style. So this one is for her.

Being and tall and lean is all well and good, and rather envied, but it is a lot less enviable when you are also incredibly busty. It makes those cute dresses everyone tells you will look great on you stretch oddly. It means bras are heinously expensive and not something you can ever do without. It means if you fit something to your tummy it wont fit the ladies, and vice versa. However it is totally doable if you can find the right fits.

Skinny trousers with heels are a favorite combo of mine. They make long legs look even leaner and help make your hips look just a bit curvier. Nice when you have none, like myself, or when you are trying to even out a more top heavy figure. You can see from the colors that I went light to dark going up. I liked it because it's fun and unexpected. Faux wraps are great for gals with larger chests because they drape nicely and you don't have to worry about those pesky gaps that mean everyone can see your bra. Make sure your top is long enough that when you stretch up you don't get a large gap of skin above your waistband.

Blazers are tricky. I have discovered that the trick to them is trying them on. If you have a lot of cleavage find one that only has one or three buttons and a deep V, that way it won't stretch across your bust. I like the boyfriend blazer, with the arms folded up to three quarter. This helps if you have longer arms, and honestly I just like the effect. It keeps it kind of whimsical and a bit more casual. I topped it with a cute green, straw fedora. Queen B can rock a hat.

With all that green, you need a little pop of something else. I chose silver so it would pop, going with more floral motifs. The purse, however, is our nice pop. Mulberry is warm, fun, and makes me smile. Also it hearkens to Venusaur's pretty flower. Keep your makeup light. Go with a berry lip and soft nudes and pinks or browns. You want it to be natural. Keep your hair easy. A low, sleek ponytail if it's long. Left a bit tumbled if it's short, and however is more comfortable if it's somewhere in between.

Squirtle for the pregnant geek

Pregnancy is, from what friends with children have told me, is scary, amazing, tiring, enriching, invigorating, painful, confusing, and worth it. You know, up until the teenage years when you really start wishing you'd taken a different path in life. A lady I love is currently preggers and ridiculously adorable, so I wanted to give an homage to my lovely Water Bender.

I wanted light and comfortable, something easy to get in and out of. A maxi skirt is a lot of things. Loose, comfortable, and long enough to hide the fact that you have given up shaving your legs for the foreseeable future. This skirt in particular made me happy because I have a love for ombre dyes. I paired it with a sandy tan loose knit jumper. Warm enough to be comfortable, loose enough not to feel like it is strangling you in yarn, while still being flattering. You have the added option of layering underneath it if that is what you wish. Also the coat. Because it was cute as shit and I find pregnant women absolutely adorable.

Possibly the most important thing about this outfit is the shoe. I went with moccasins because I, personally, love them. Minnetonka is good for giving you cushy insoles so that you feel like you are walking on a cloud. I have heard horror stories about what can happen to a woman's foot, and while I haven't asked my Geeky Mama, I figured she could use comfortable and cute. I'm not pregnant and I can use comfortable and cute.

You'll note the lack of rings in this set. It's because fingers swell and that sucks so lets look at pretty cuff bracelets, shall we? I went with the obvious turtle theme. How could I not? I bit on the nose, yes, but cute for a reason. Necklace, earrings, one bracelet. The little backpack was chosen purely for aesthetic purposes, but has the added bonus of not being overly embarrassing if you decide your husband needs to carry your bag for you. Keep your hair simple. Leave it down or pull it into a ponytail or a braid. Nothing intricate needed. This is a comfy casual look that you can take to work. If you want to wear makeup, keep it simple and light. Easy, breezey, beautiful, Squirtle Girl.

charmander for the pear shape

Charmander for one of the most awesome people I know! Seriously, I have a tattoo of a mechanical butterfly that stands for her on my right leg. It's pretty. Back to Ryka, though - she's tough, smart, pretty, and I'm pretty sure she went into engineering because she wants to build the terminator.

I try to pick outfits that match the personality of the people who inspire me to make them. This one was one of the hardest. Not because I couldn't get Ryka's personality down, but because I kept waffling between "can she actually build a machine wearing this?" and "well if it's for a meeting ..." and eventually decided that she was going to have to live with whatever I want to dress her in and be done with it. Her reaction to the outfit was to inform me she wanted the purse, so I think I might have done alright. Please note, however, that you can't wear that top if you plan to muck about with machinery.

Pear shaped ladies have wider hips, and often rumps, than shoulders. So you want pants that come up a little higher so that you do flash plumbers crack if you bend over. For this outfit I like the high waters. I am a fan of the bare ankle look, though. Cute loafers, either barefoot or with pedisocks, don't show off the socks, show off the ankles. Since the pants are slim fit, they are loose enough that even if you have cankles, it will still look cute.

The top is a wide striped (they said ombre, it's not really ombre) asymmetrical, sleeveless top. It's tunic length, but snug enough not to add extra padding around your hips. if it was loose about your hips, this would be a different story. The top is sleeveless, which I prefer when wearing blazers all day as I get overheated (and I live by the "I'm cold, go put on your jacket" rule.) The top is nice, but I think the real star of this outfit is the jacket. For a pear shape you want a blazer that is cropped, you don't want it going wide over your hips, instead you want the shoulders just a bit structured to add a touch of width and make you look more like an hourglass. I like the 3/4 sleeve because Ryka likes to fidget.

Jewelry is fairly simple. Fun earrings, a cuff bracelet, and my favorite piece, the chainmail baby dragon. If you haven't heard of Northcoast Armory I suggest checking out their etsy shop. I was a kickstarter backer of theirs and have my own baby dragon (Mushu) whose scales fade from Red to gold. It's a good fidget piece because it has interesting textures. Keep your makeup simple and natural, do the same with your hair. People spending ours on getting their hair and makeup perfect often seem overdone. Keep that in mind, especially on your way to work.

Pikachu for the Apple Shape

Last, but certainly not least, is my Duckie. She is the one who inspired this set from the start. Mostly it involves a story from a convention, but as we have a lot of con stories, most told from the working perspective, we'll skip that part and go right into the clothes, shall we?

Apple shapes gain weight in their tummy's and bras, and have shoulders wider than their hips. So we take hints from other outfits and mix them up. Skinny trousers (in a bright and cheerful yellow!) paired with high heels to make your legs look long and lean. I like the lace up detail on the booties, sadly I couldn't find this particular pair in my own size. I looked. One can never have too many shoes.

We have another faux wrap tunic top. Not that the hem flutters around the hips, adding width where there wasn't any before. Note the cream color of the top. Duckie is very, very pale. Do not put super pale people in white, it generally washes them out. This is kind of a pet peeve of mine. I have a lot of gingers in my family and when people tell them they should where white I shake my head in horror. Sometimes I can stop from verbalizing. Sometimes.

Because my Duckie gets cold easily I went with a faux fur pear shaped jacket. Why pear? Because it's not apple and it vastly amuses me when a single article of clothing can so completely change the look of a person's body. Also because it looks ridiculously comfortable to lounge about in. I paired the outfit off with some more, rather on point, accessories. A jumble of lightning bolts on the earrings, and a lightning bolt black and white clutch. I went with rosy cheeks and soft pink lips, it's Pikachu after all, and natural eyes. I suggest pulling the hair away from your face for something like this, and not going overboard with the blush. We don't want to look like an escapee from the eighties.

Own your fandoms, never apologize for things that make you happy, and remember that, like Eevee, you can be anything you want to be.

Stevie (but you can call me Professor Oak)